What up? You'd never know it by reading my blog but by certain standards I've wasted my life. It's true! How many hours of cartoons do you have to watch to decide on your favorites of the decade? A metric crapload, that's how many. And if that measurement makes any sense to you, it's because you ALSO have an overdose of pop culture. So I'll skip my list of the eight kindest characters on The Venture Brothers, to bring you this nugget of wisdom.
MY EIGHT FAVORITE TV CARTOONS OF THE NOUGHTIES
(Why eight? Because that's how many fingers I have left over with both thumbs up!!)
8. Azumanga Daioh-
The ever-toiling natives of that friendly island in the sea, Japan, brought me many cartoons in the last ten years. And I hardly saw any of them. I suspect I will enjoy Trigun and Full Metal Panic and probably Sgt. Frog, someday. So with apologies to every anime I HAVEN'T seen, I applaud this entirely NON-GENRE program which wins my heart with the sweet and the ordinary rather than with the flying cars and the alien freeloaders I tend to gravitate toward. Cooking IS so fun!
7. Undergrads -
Out, out brief candle! Cal, may you never learn a thing. Rocko, may your liver hold out. Nitz, may you figure out what you want before it's too late. And sweet Gimpy, may flights of TIE fighters sing thee to thy rest.
6. Batman: The Brave and The Bold -
It hasn't been on that long, and toon lifespans being what they are these days I encourage you to enjoy it while it lasts. Old school superheroin' done right, booey!
5. Teen Titans-
Although Legion of Superheroes never had the chance to mature and improve, (sadly in my mind earning the nickname 'Super-Tweeny Man and the Lacklustre Teens of the Future'), Teen Titans DID have years of practice and was all the better for it. By the end of its run it was complex and elegant, and very heartfelt. Very likely the best theme song of all time, too.
4. Kim Possible-
I heard of it, dismissed it as kid stuff, and when it was done I caught it in the re-runs. And I loved it. I really like the Drakken and Shego relationship. I love to see a little of myself in not-so-super supervillains. Selfish, impotent, and world-weary, but indefatigable. Plus Ron Stoppable is a delight. He's also terrible at what he does, with certain very important exceptions. Kim herself obviously owes Buffy and others a great debt, but the show found its own voice and a fan in me.
3. Clone High-
With apologies to Total Drama Island, which was also quite amusing in its first season, I want this series back. And I'll never get it! Arrrgh! It's just tragic! And as a Kennedy, I'm not accustomed to tragedy. Darkly comic, twisted, inventive mad genius. Plus hearing the catchphrase 'You've got crabs, Ass-Face!' made me fall in love with the woman I now call my wife. Because she IS my wife. That's why I call her that. You see. And she neither has crabs nor an ass-face. Break a leg at the audition, baby!
2. Justice League Unlimited-
I may not have mentioned my affection for superheroes? Anyhoo, this series came the closest to bringing the comic book experience to life for me. The last great achievement from the folks what brung me Batman, Superman, and Justice League. But keep trying to top it! C'mon, I dare you!
1. Futurama- Maybe this is a cheat. It's either the last great prescient cartoon of the Nineties or the first awesome retro cartoon of the 30th century. And thanks to all that hard work and determination, it was all drawn by a single Australian man. A solid core cast of abominable wretches who loathe each other battle monsters and encounter creatures as diverse as the Robot Devil, the Widow Pac-Man, and the Yarn People of Nylar Four. Find your favorites below!For anyone out there still watching TWENTY DING-DONG DAD-BLASTED F@$KING years of the Simpsons, I humbly apologize and exhort you to watch the four seasons and four movies of the gut-bustingest thing the Groenigverse and its minions have ever accomplished. And remember, when push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea.