Wednesday, December 9, 2009

My Favorite Comicbook Villain of the Noughties: Superboy-Prime

No, I'm not kidding.
I was planning a villain to be my character of the week for a few weeks now, but Bookmonkey beat me to the punch! Look at him over there, with his nearly 52 posts. That guy rules, you should really read his blog. Really. READ IT!
So why Superboy-Prime? I genuinely think he's the best new villain in comics this decade. Sorry, Omni-Man, you could completely kick my face, plus as a Viltrumite here to conquer our world and knock up our ladies, you are totally an asshole, no question. (Read Invincible, boys and goils.)
See, I was never that big into DC comics until the Infinite Crisis. In the summer of 2005 Geoff Johns, Brad Meltzer, Gail Simone and a whole gang of their co-workers convinced me Marvel wasn't the only game in town.
Although he previously existed as a minor hero, Superboy-Prime becomes a villain in this storyline, and still one of the finest villains going, to my taste.
Hear me, Geoff: ya done good. I may be able to forgive you for 'She-Hulk runs on fear' someday. Don't listen to anyone who says you didn't write a splendid villain.
Clark Kent, (the Superboy of Earth Prime where DC comics are just fictions) thanks in part to extreme isolation and the regrettable advice of Earth-3's zealot Alexander Luthor, has concluded that Nothing that exists Anywhere is Good Enough. Nothing is as good as he remembers it, in fact, nothing ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSES matters except himself. He literally pulls people apart because he thinks they are 'lame'. His thinking has become insane, selfish, and infantile while his powers are sufficient to shatter planets. He's a mad god with a superiority complex and he's the most hurtful thing he could be: a Fan. He's a comic book collector. He's a critic who cannot muster a positive review. He's the villain who could be You.
This, I think, is what sticks in some people's craws.
Even the inestimable Linkara hates him. And I agree with almost eveything that guy spews!
Seriously, Linkara is awesome.
I can't speak to why Superboy-Prime is so badly written in 'Countdown', except that this sentence explains itself. IT'S COUNTDOWN! No, I'm not linking to it. It stinks! KYLE RAYNER is a moron in Countdown. And Donna Troy, too. And the Monitors. It didn't do ANYONE any favors. Chock fulla morons.
Superboy-Prime has a horrifying kill count, including all of Earth-15 and Universe-51. Which aren't as personally hurtful as his callous murders of Pantha of the Teen Titans or Rond Vidar of the Legion. Minor character? Yeees. Still. Awful.
And, worst of all, I UNDERSTOOD his motives. It's all very well to be the Joker and just be Nucking Futs. People are fine with THAT. But Superboy-Prime is looking at the whole of the DC universe amassed since 1985 and thinking what I, Mike, thought: this is NOT a place I want to visit. Wanton, meaningless violence. 'Heroes' as bad as their enemies. Just dark, vicious, endless badly drawn brawls in back alleys and Wonder Woman in a jean jacket.
The difference between little Superdink and I is that I am entirely powerless and hopefully less selfish. I won't be flailing around in anguish because everyone sucks and tearing heads off to prove it anytime soon. But... he does what a villain must: warn us of what we can become at our worst. Superboy-P showed me that needy, embarrassing, whining dark side.
Don't allow yourself to grow so jaded, so anhedonic, so lonely and cut-off from the world that you end up like this jerkus. Choose your friends carefully, but for Mxyzptlk's sake- HAVE FRIENDS! Don't set your standards impossibly high or slack-assedly low. Remember, you are not the only person with feelings. Worlds may not be at stake for realsies, but every individual contains worlds of possibility. So for showing me a face I hope to avoid but find delicious to revisit, thank you again, Geoff Johns.

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