TV Review: Star Wars Rebels

Because I am secretly 12 years old in a 38-year-old body, I watch an inappropriate amount of the Disney XD channel. The Phineas and Ferb Star Wars Crossover got me hooked on that delightful little formulaic gem, while in recent days I've enjoyed a cartoon that needs none of my hype: Star Wars Rebels.

Think of SW:R as a dumbed-down Firefly for kids, but then again there are lots of times I hate using my vaunted brain and just want brightly coloured people and toys to run in circles and explode.

Plus I think executive producer Dave Filoni and Co. could do a lot worse than the highly creative Ralph McQuarrie art design for the setting: 5-years before Star Wars: A New Hope. Did I ever mention that I'm fond of Star Wars?

The tramp freighter Ghost is mobile home to a small assortment of brightly coloured space wizards who "redistribute" weapons and adorable Wookie slaves in opposition to the oppressive laws of the Evil Galactic Empire. Please do not pirate the DVDs.

My favourite episode of those aired so far was "Droids in Distress" by Greg "Snapper Carr" Weisman, producer and former writer on Kim Possible. It had some of everything: humour, lasers, great voice cast, appealing animation, Anthony "Never Not C-3PO" Daniels, and the robot bus driver from my favourite Disney attraction; Star Tours.

Anyway, since you're not already over-saturated with TV, you might like it. If you're twelve. Or slightly older.

TV Review: Star Wars Clone Wars

'Star Wars The Clone Wars' ran from Oct 2008 to March 2013, and last week I finished re-watching it from the beginning so I could enjoy the "Netflix Exclusive" Season 6 "The Lost Missions" in context. Should I start a review with a spoiler? It's awesome. You may now fall over dead from Not Surprised!

The animation is absolutely beautiful, and to the extent that I understand such things, the editing and direction are splendid. Within the constraints of the programme, the writing is usually very good. Specifically, the stories are vignettes sandwiched between the known events of Star Wars Episode II and Episode III (and possibly also between the wipes in the 15th MINUTE of Genndy Tartakovsky's 2003-2005 Star Wars: Clone Wars Volume 2). (ALL of which I loved and will brook no complaints about, no matter how reasonable those complaints may be.)  Very few things in life transport me back to childhood quite like Star Wars, and that's a special pleasure.

The regular voice cast are appealing (special mention: Matt Lanter since he's the best prequel Anakin actor yet) but the guest performer highlights included luminaries such as Clancy Brown, Jim Cummings, Greg Cipes, Phil LaMarr, Jon Favreau, Seth Green, Michael York, Katee Sackhoff, Tim Curry, Simon Pegg, and David Tennant. Also, for authenticity: Peter Mayhew, Ahmed Best, Anthony Daniels, Daniel Logan, Mark Hamill, and Liam Neeson. (They were not hurting in the vocal department.)

One complaint I've heard is that it's kid stuff. (This is completely true. Kid stuff tends to be awesome!) I feel like it manages to offer plenty of shades of meaning, but then again the villains have names like Cad Bane. Or, for colour, Dooku and Durd. (Something smells stinkowiff...)

Lok Durd is a voluminous slimy alien voiced by the effervescent George Takei. "You are now under the protection of the Separatist Alliance," Durd intones at a cuddly old monkey-man. "I congratulate you on your good fortune." Followed, inevitably by "Ransack this dung heap!"

I can't give much credence to the idea that "utterly disposable" armies of clones on one side and droids on the other means there's no-one to care about! Ridiculous! To the programme's credit I not only felt sorry for many of the "heroic" clones- but even now and then for the "evil" droids. Still, apart from the cannon fodder, there's a galaxy of other characters to adore and despise. Only YOU will know how to feel about Sy Snootles after this...

I'm probably the wrong gender to comment, but I will say that the series had better roles for females (i.e. Ventress, Tano, and Offee- seen above) than any previous Star Wars, and that Katie Lucas is a much better writer than the nepotism would first suggest.

Picking a favourite episode has proven impossible. In general, seasons 2 and 4 were strongest and season 6 perhaps the most uneven, but Yoda fans will be richly rewarded in the final arc ("Voices/Destiny/Sacrifice") for slogging through a couple of episodes about banking deregulation. (Seriously? For kids!)

So, at last, some highly arbitrary special mentions: Favourite Ship Battle: "Shadow of Malevolence". Favourite Jar Jar Story: "Bombad Jedi". Favourite Hot Mess: Ziro the Hutt's Mama. Favourite cameo from '80's Nelvanna cartoon "Droids": R2-KT. Favourite Monster of Mass Destruction: the Zillo Beast. Story Arc With The Least Pay-Off: Darth Maul's Resurrection. (I know he's cool- but to what END? Most adorable youngling in "The Gathering": Gungi. Most Futile Death: three-way tie: Gregor/Tarpals/Fives.

Disney will get their chance, and no doubt their efforts in "Rebels" and Episode VII will be the best that ever was! We'll soon see. Always in motion is the future...

R.I.P. Ian Abercrombie

It's unfortunate that I have only spared the time for this blog sporadically recently, but much sadder that I join you only to mark the passing of a performer I didn't even know by name until yesterday.

English actor Ian Abercrombie was a small but integral part of my genre movie and television history. I don't know if I saw him first on 'The Questor Tapes', 'Battlestar Galactica', or 'Voyagers!', but I enjoyed him in those programs as a boy, and many dozens of other adventures since. 

Seemingly typecast as 'Stuffy and Veddy British' his comic performances enhanced 'Young Frankenstein', 'The Ice Pirates', 'ALF', 'Army of Darkness', 'Wild Wild West' and 'Rango'. To name-drop only a few. If you needed a pompous vizier or nefarious wizard in your genre comedy, you needed to look no further.

Though I couldn't have said who was under the make-up, his role as the smug alien bigot Correlilmurzon on 'Babylon 5' was a season comedy highlight. His farcical sexual escapade with Commander Susan Ivanova was most memorable!

Worst of all for me (and isn't that what matters?) I've lost both his ongoing cartoon voice roles at once. He was well-chosen as the noble Ganthet in 'Green Lantern: The Animated Series' and the scheming Chancellor Palpatine in 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'.

My honest sympathies for his friends and family, as well as those in the audience... who'll miss him as he journeys the realms beyond.

It's A Habit-Forming Kind of Ecstacy

I have known the name since 1987, read two of Adam Warren's comic trade paperbacks based on the series, and always been curious. But this weekend, I payed through the nose to get them at Animethon- and I have never regretted an anime purchase LESS.

Dirty Pair (buy yours at Rightstuf online, it was cheaper than ebay this morning) on DVD is exhilarating. It's amazing fun!

Based on the novels of sci-fi writer Haruka Takachiho (which I've never read but SURE want to now) and then maybe dumbed down or livened up for a cartoon (like I say, I've never read them, I'm just reading between the lines on the liner notes) it spins a kick-butt yarn of Kei and Yuri, agents for the World Welfare Works Association (sort of a heroes-for-hire) in the year 2140 on planet Esturl.

Codenamed 'Lovely Angels', Agents 234K & 234Y are more commonly referred to as 'Dirty Pair' because of their devastating record of casualties and damage in the pursuit of their eclectic assignments. No two missions are alike: and no two girls cooperate as badly.

It's blasters and bikinis, cowgirls and computers, somewhere between Charlie's Angels and Star Trek. High energy and fun writing even more to my personal taste than the delightful Captain Tylor. Top-notch animation reminiscent of the best Robotech had to offer, but I've yet to see the quality taper off: and I watched 13 out of 26 episodes YESTERDAY.

Am I wasting them watching them so fast? Yes.

Can I stop? No.

The Japanese audio track with subtitles is how I prefer things: I feel like it's usually closest to the original emotional intent. Of course, this DVD set has NO other option- and some prefer English dubbing. It's the only 'flaw' I've found here.

When I noticed it was made in 1985 it only served to reinforce my affection for that particular year. It SHRIEKS eighties: headbands, disco, materialism, and pop music that's never been topped. I tend to skip title music after the first few episodes: I watched this title ALL 13 TIMES because the song is so infectious!

I'm pretty sure "Dirty Pair"'s target audience is teen boys, which is my emotional skill level, also. But anyone who gets a thrill from action comedies might like it, too. Ideal summer Saturday fare.

My Favourite Characters: The Heretic Monkey

Justy Ueki Tylor (age 20) is a callow youth of uncertain ability in the distant year UC 6999.

As the animated series known as "The Most Irresponsible Man in Space" or "The Irresponsible Captain Tylor" begins, Justy abandons his life of vagrancy for a cushy job with the military. The United Planets Space Force is only too happy to have him, as they are at war with the Holy Raalgon Empire (brutish pointy-eared aliens up to no good).

Tylor speaks his mind (such as it is). He's far too laid back. He has no regard for rules or protocol, breaks the computer assigned to classify him, and is, in short, deeply unsuited to the military life. So he is rapidly promoted.

After an unorthodox defusing of a hostage crisis, Tylor sort of earns his way, sort of falls upward into command of the aging battleship 'Gentle Breeze'. His command crew are rule-bound types who find him baffling, maddening, or amazing (in straight-laced female Commander Star's case, all three). Tylor's band of cut-throat marines, high-strung pilots, and drunken ship's surgeon quickly galvanize into an unstoppable force beneath his total lack of discipline. Tylor's superiors grow to despise him as much as the enemy, and arrange for his certain death in space battle. And that's before the spoiled teen empress of the Raalgon sets her sights on him...

I got quite a fair few chuckles out of this show. It's a space opera in the style of Star Trek, but with more than a hint of irreverence. Tylor is virtually impossible to dislike: he treats EVERYBODY fairly. He's relaxed to a degree I cannot achieve personally without chemical assistance. He MIGHT be defined as irresponsible, but it may also be right to call him carefree. Tylor has a live-and-let-live outlook, it's such a delight to me when retired old Admiral Hanner takes a liking to the guy.

For his was a genius no rule could contain!

Cute Cartoon Couples

For my Valentine's Day event, I bring you a "VD Explosion": the five cutest couples of animation.

5. Ranma Saotome & Akane Tendo of Ranma 1/2 remain the gold standard of cute: affianced against their will and perpetually on each other's nerves, yet always very much in love.

4. Try to resist Owen and Izzy of Total Drama. It can't be done. The fattest cartoon boy and most deranged cartoon girl in all of cartoon Canada are keeping it real.

3. The course of true love across time and space never runs smooth for Philip Fry & Turanga Leela of Futurama...

2. But fates entwine seemingly without any effort at all for Querl "Brainiac 5" Dox & Kara "Supergirl" Zor-El of Justice League Unlimited.

1. Buzz Lightyear of Star Command and Jessie the Yodelin' Cowgirl of Toy Story 3. Stalwart, dashing man of the future: meet rip-roarin' spitfire gal of the past. It's magical when worlds collide.

There's many millions more and you know who they are.

Happy Valentines Day.

Future World, Here We Come!

I'm here as Gushy McFanboy to sing the praises of a science adventure cartoon created by Nelvana for Discovery Kids & Teletoon, based on the UK-German-Austrian Discovery Channel 'future wildlife documentary' of the same name.  It aired in 2007 & 2008 and I just caught the reruns with my PVR last month, much like one might catch squibbon raisins beneath the trees in 200 million AD...

It's called 'The Future Is Wild', and I give it three tentacles up!  26 endearingly rendered episodes of speculative evolutionary biology appeal very much to the kid in me.  I like the stories, the score, the action, the wit, the science-y stuff, and I adore the characters.

The humans of 12000 AD, faced with extinction due to mega ice age, send determined young Cassiopeia G in a Time Flyer to scout locations for possible relocation.  Her robot crew damaged, she recruits three 21st century teens (plus a disaster-prone stowaway tree squid called Squibbon).

The bold, jocky Ethan, tenderhearted animal-loving Emily, and savvy but hypochondriac Luis aid the fish-out-of-water future girl "CG" in three time zones.  They discover the possibilities of Earth's evolution after 5 million, 100 million, and 200 million years, usually while screaming and running for their lives from ravenous monsters descended from the current animal kingdom.  From the swamps of the lurkfish to the glacier poggle farms of the silver spiders it's a mash-up of science and imagination to spark your sense of wonder:

Emily (approaching tribe of babookari, with her palms up: 'I hope this is the universal primate term for friendship'.

Luis (less optimistic) 'It could be the universal monkey term for 'don't our fingers look yummy?'.

The only possible drawback here is that it was short-lived.  But my cursory research indicated they may soon be making a second 'documentary' with plenty more speculative creatures.  I'm all for it!

My Favorite Characters: Annoying but Alphanumeric

Thank the User for Teletoon Retro! I can watch the Jetsons now at almost any time of day or night! (Except I discovered I don't ever want to.)
But never mind that: I have access at last to the finest Canadian CGI program ever to off-line before it had a chance to fully compile: ReBoot. I hear what all you Sprites are saying out there... you've never heard of it! But seriously, back in the '90's I was exactly the target audience for this clever, parody-heavy adventure set in the world inside your computer:
1. I already had a deep, abiding, and unhealthy love for the movie TRON (similar premise, less jokes).
2. I likes me the green girls. (see... oh, any previous post) Dot was a welcome addition to the veridian pantheon.
3. Mike the TV.
Voiced by Michael Donovan, Mike the TV is a hyperkinetic, drivel-spewing machine. (Particularily as a teenager, let's just say I could relate.) Mike was the TV of Guardian Bob, the lead character, who rarely had much sucess with appliances. Mike was so annoying, his own remote control ran away. Mike took a succession of jobs: emcee, game warrior, underling to an insane virus, news correspondant, underling to a second, even crazier virus...
The thing is, even under the insidious, will-sapping indoctrination of the well-intentioned virus Daemon, I could still count on Mike to be the FUNNEST possible sort of zealot.
I think I like best that a one-joke guy can just plain grow on you until he seems like something more. In a reality CREATED by nerdlings, parody is so much a part of life that almost everything is a joke, and Mike knows it. There's plenty of great characters on ReBoot. Dour Matrix. Inscutable Phong. Tough-As-Nails AndrAIa. The slimiest-bug-in-the-web: Megabyte.
So, yes, I admit it. I like the funny. If the nice folks at Rainmaker intend to win me over with their proposed movie follow-up, please copy-and-paste that: I like the funny. ReBoot seasons 3 and 4 were a valiant attempt at a show with more depth, and I feel they suceeded brilliantly. But they never lost track of fun. Even if the movie never comes to pass, ReBoot was an excellent program.
And there's always TRON: Legacy!

My Favorite Characters: Green and Mean

Kim Possible is a children's cartoon, which is ideal for me to enjoy as I am a giant mid-thirties child.
I also have a fetish for the green ladies, such as She-Hulk, Orions, and even Brainiac 5's MILF Brainiac 4. Is that wrong? I answer my own question: undoubtedly.
But despite my unwholesome proclivities, the best cartoon villainess of the Noughties (2000-2009) award STILL has to go to Shego as voiced by the lovely and very comically talented Nicole Sullivan.
Never playing second fiddle to John Dimaggio's incompetent but boundlessly determined mad scientist Dr. Drakken, the pair instead became a bickering duo. Never really intended to be used as much as they were either, apparently, but they were just too much fun for the writers and audience alike.
Shego's origin story is very like that of the Fantastic Four: endowed with strange powers by radiation along with her family, she was a member of a high-profile superhero team. Until she got fed up. Surrounded by her dopey, do-gooding brothers she opted instead for the wild and lucrative life of selfishness and villainy. She abandoned the defense of Go City for easy-pickings in Middleton.
And managed to saddle herself with another dope. But at least Dr. Drakken is in it for the money and power. A cad after her own heart. A rotter she can almost admire. But she'd never let him think he was in charge, oh no.
Shego is as sultry a catburgler as Catwoman, as skilled in the martial arts as Mr. Jackie Chan (real or cartoon), and as sarcastic as seven Chandler Bings.
She has very little patience, almost no regard for others, and has made it her life's work to defeat a high school girl. You gotta respect her ability to set attainable goals.
Is it wrong to crush on a cartoon villainess?
I'm almost certain my wife would say yes.
But you married me, lady. It's too late now.
BWA-HA-HA!

My Favorite TV Cartoons of the Noughties

What up? You'd never know it by reading my blog but by certain standards I've wasted my life. It's true! How many hours of cartoons do you have to watch to decide on your favorites of the decade? A metric crapload, that's how many. And if that measurement makes any sense to you, it's because you ALSO have an overdose of pop culture. So I'll skip my list of the eight kindest characters on The Venture Brothers, to bring you this nugget of wisdom.

MY EIGHT FAVORITE TV CARTOONS OF THE NOUGHTIES
(Why eight? Because that's how many fingers I have left over with both thumbs up!!)

8. Azumanga Daioh-
The ever-toiling natives of that friendly island in the sea, Japan, brought me many cartoons in the last ten years. And I hardly saw any of them. I suspect I will enjoy Trigun and Full Metal Panic and probably Sgt. Frog, someday. So with apologies to every anime I HAVEN'T seen, I applaud this entirely NON-GENRE program which wins my heart with the sweet and the ordinary rather than with the flying cars and the alien freeloaders I tend to gravitate toward. Cooking IS so fun!

7. Undergrads -
Out, out brief candle! Cal, may you never learn a thing. Rocko, may your liver hold out. Nitz, may you figure out what you want before it's too late. And sweet Gimpy, may flights of TIE fighters sing thee to thy rest.

6. Batman: The Brave and The Bold -
It hasn't been on that long, and toon lifespans being what they are these days I encourage you to enjoy it while it lasts. Old school superheroin' done right, booey!

5. Teen Titans-
Although Legion of Superheroes never had the chance to mature and improve, (sadly in my mind earning the nickname 'Super-Tweeny Man and the Lacklustre Teens of the Future'), Teen Titans DID have years of practice and was all the better for it. By the end of its run it was complex and elegant, and very heartfelt. Very likely the best theme song of all time, too.

4. Kim Possible-
I heard of it, dismissed it as kid stuff, and when it was done I caught it in the re-runs. And I loved it. I really like the Drakken and Shego relationship. I love to see a little of myself in not-so-super supervillains. Selfish, impotent, and world-weary, but indefatigable. Plus Ron Stoppable is a delight. He's also terrible at what he does, with certain very important exceptions. Kim herself obviously owes Buffy and others a great debt, but the show found its own voice and a fan in me.

3. Clone High-
With apologies to Total Drama Island, which was also quite amusing in its first season, I want this series back. And I'll never get it! Arrrgh! It's just tragic! And as a Kennedy, I'm not accustomed to tragedy. Darkly comic, twisted, inventive mad genius. Plus hearing the catchphrase 'You've got crabs, Ass-Face!' made me fall in love with the woman I now call my wife. Because she IS my wife. That's why I call her that. You see. And she neither has crabs nor an ass-face. Break a leg at the audition, baby!

2. Justice League Unlimited-
I may not have mentioned my affection for superheroes? Anyhoo, this series came the closest to bringing the comic book experience to life for me. The last great achievement from the folks what brung me Batman, Superman, and Justice League. But keep trying to top it! C'mon, I dare you!

1. Futurama- Maybe this is a cheat. It's either the last great prescient cartoon of the Nineties or the first awesome retro cartoon of the 30th century. And thanks to all that hard work and determination, it was all drawn by a single Australian man. A solid core cast of abominable wretches who loathe each other battle monsters and encounter creatures as diverse as the Robot Devil, the Widow Pac-Man, and the Yarn People of Nylar Four. Find your favorites below!For anyone out there still watching TWENTY DING-DONG DAD-BLASTED F@$KING years of the Simpsons, I humbly apologize and exhort you to watch the four seasons and four movies of the gut-bustingest thing the Groenigverse and its minions have ever accomplished. And remember, when push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea.