Wednesday, December 16, 2009

My Favorite Characters: Green and Mean

Kim Possible is a children's cartoon, which is ideal for me to enjoy as I am a giant mid-thirties child.
I also have a fetish for the green ladies, such as She-Hulk, Orions, and even Brainiac 5's MILF Brainiac 4. Is that wrong? I answer my own question: undoubtedly.
But despite my unwholesome proclivities, the best cartoon villainess of the Noughties (2000-2009) award STILL has to go to Shego as voiced by the lovely and very comically talented Nicole Sullivan.
Never playing second fiddle to John Dimaggio's incompetent but boundlessly determined mad scientist Dr. Drakken, the pair instead became a bickering duo. Never really intended to be used as much as they were either, apparently, but they were just too much fun for the writers and audience alike.
Shego's origin story is very like that of the Fantastic Four: endowed with strange powers by radiation along with her family, she was a member of a high-profile superhero team. Until she got fed up. Surrounded by her dopey, do-gooding brothers she opted instead for the wild and lucrative life of selfishness and villainy. She abandoned the defense of Go City for easy-pickings in Middleton.
And managed to saddle herself with another dope. But at least Dr. Drakken is in it for the money and power. A cad after her own heart. A rotter she can almost admire. But she'd never let him think he was in charge, oh no.
Shego is as sultry a catburgler as Catwoman, as skilled in the martial arts as Mr. Jackie Chan (real or cartoon), and as sarcastic as seven Chandler Bings.
She has very little patience, almost no regard for others, and has made it her life's work to defeat a high school girl. You gotta respect her ability to set attainable goals.
Is it wrong to crush on a cartoon villainess?
I'm almost certain my wife would say yes.
But you married me, lady. It's too late now.