Wednesday, July 7, 2010


It's been a crummy Wednesday morning. Actually pretty crappy.

My day began with an eerie portent from my Alphabits: 5:25 AM, slurping down the last of my milk and there it is. Four soggy letters perched atop three, all right side up. 'BWAr ASP'.

Beware Asp? I thought- Where am I gonna run into a poisonous serpent in darkest Canada?

I forgot about it at the dentist. I'm a new patient there, but he seems like a great guy, and I don't blame him a bit. These things happen. However, it was, (in the words of the great Jabba the Hutt) 'a new definition of pain and suffering'. A simple cavity filling, even after FOUR shots was the most wretched I've ever felt in a dentist chair.

Pulses shooting down my entire body. Fleeting, but still awful, wracking pain. I thought- I've been SO freakin' lucky up to now!
Then I thought- go to a happy place. (It worked for Happy Gilmore.)

I hid in my imagination- dwelling on every detail of a nude drawing I made last month. (see deviantart)
I cowered in an episode of Deep Space Nine I haven't seen in ages.
And in the midst of worst of it, I found myself back on my honeymoon in Florida. (no pictures, kids)
As usual, me wife saves me life.

And, when it was over, on my way back to work, I got dizzy/momentarily passed-out(?) and crashed my bike.
Scraped the hell out of my elbow, wrenched my whole arm.
Dutch or German-sounding passers-by saved my bike from the car just behind me in the road and inquired after my status. I hobbled back to the dentist and caught a ride home with my wife.
See? Me wife saves me life.

Now, where, in all that, was the asp?

Ah, what the hell. I LIVE!

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