Thursday, January 28, 2010

Genre Pets I Wish I Had For Reals

I loved Bookmonkey's post about what genre dog he'd own if he wasn't allergic. And I figured... why stop at dogs? Sci-Fi and Fantasy are rife with huggable little ragamuffins I wish I could take home... Horror, slightly less so. I mean, easy enough to find FOOD for a facehugger, but do you really want the hassle? There are only so many Paul Reisers to feed to those abominations!

There are a lot of factors to consider: Canada is not the place for a full-grown dewback lizard, no matter how you slice it. (Mmm. Dewback steaks!) But assuming care and feeding are no object, I'd want an intelligent, independant critter (not Crites, mind you, giant writhing balls of teeth? no, thanks). A pet willing to hang out with me but who does not rely on me. And none of this perching on things being loud nonsense, either. No Orbittys, Kokos, or Kowakian monkey-lizards. Let's be sensible, here.
And speaking of sensible, I already have a K-9. Perfect for my needs. Sarah Jane Smith's K-9 was content to sit in a crate for years, and his successor was powerful and patient enough to fly rings around a pocket dimension black hole by himself saving the Earth. But... he's more sidekick than pet. Thus...

5. Fizzgig- Kira the Gelfling knew a good pet: Heinlein's Flatcats and Star Trek's tribbles had already done the cuddly ball of fur schtick, but between you and me, yeah, I'm gonna need a pet with a FACE.

4. Lockjaw- The Inhuman royal family's pet is ideal for interdimensional jaunts. I sure wouldn't mind visiting the Marvel Universe to see if Skrull burgers are as tasty as everyone says... of course, there's a good chance Lockjaw would wander off to chase a squirrel in the Squirrelverse or something... then where would I be? The Marvel Universe, I guess. Good luck with that! Maybe I could hitch a ride back with Thor Frog?

3. Streaky the Supercat- I won't lie to you. Supergirl's pet is adorable. An Earth cat bestowed with all the powers of a Kryptonian cat in a lab accident, Streaky is also handy if you have any large airplanes you need to bring down. Sure, get a Krypto if you want. All that sappy loyalty and reliability. Where's the fun and also pure evil of a flying kitty-cat?

2. Stitch- Dr. Jumba's erstwhile Experiment 626, pet of odd Hawaiian child Lilo, is really very loveable if you can get past the overwhelming naughtiness. And the missing left shoes.

1. A Racing Snail- Heck, I'd like a breeding pair! Not only could I forego buying bus passes, I could sell these puppies for millions! Nobody would ever be late for anything again! And look at that face! He's so CUUUTE! Seriously, I'd clean up. Slimey trails, I mean. They need a lot of cleaning.

Honestly, as a kid, ANY of these would have been great, but I know hands down I would have picked the monkey-in-a-dog-suit Muffit-2 from the original Battlestar Galactica. But today I learned his terrifying secret...

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