Thursday, March 11, 2010


You know, it sounds awesome in 'The Muppet Movie' when Orson Welles offers 'the standard rich and famous contract'. Except that every so often, too often, the last line in that contract is 'suicide and/or drug overdose'.
Corey Haim, Andrew Koenig, Brad Renfro, Johnathan Brandis, River Phoenix, and many others: I'm counting my lucky stars today that I was never a Teen Heartthrob. Even though I still want to be rich I think I'd prefer to live without fame.
And, so many famous writers were drunks and suicides that it's practically a cliche. If I want to be a writer, does that mean eating a gun like Hemingway?
Forget it! If the cost of fame is death I'd rather live a thousand years in obscurity.
Some douchebag once said 'It's better to burn out than fade away'. To hell with that! Fade and fade more and keep fading and when you're bored of fading go work at TGI Friday's and then keep on fading on. Because there is SO MUCH MORE to being a human than being a holy golden spotlight god.
Learn to snuggle up to Obscurity and give it a little smooch: it's where most of us have always and will always live. And it's a billion times better than dead.
And here's another cliche while I'm spouting them: don't do drugs. For god's sake, keep away from that shit. Even and especially booze and cigs. You know they kill more than all the rest put together. None of them solve your problems. Except one very permanent solution.
I know there's no point to lecturing you guys. Haim's own friends and family were helpless: how much more helpless is some guy who just watched 'Lost Boys' once upon a time?
I know it's meaningless to say it, but suicide is just so selfish and sad.
Take care of yourselves.

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