Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Why Are We Deprived of Such Glories?

There are a million wonderful things in this world. Two million. At least.
Like my friends Mark and Kathleen have a new baby girl, Kara. (Yea!)
Like Doctor Who had another t.v. special (Space channel will play it on December 19.)
Oh, fill in the blank! Let's face it, I am NOT deprived...
Where, my buddy Ron might ask, is 'Maverick'?
Why, Daryl has queried, is 'Night Court' coming out on DVD so slowly?
And, where the f@#k is 'Rockula'?
(That one was for Kirk and Kayla.)
But this is my forum and my grievances. Thus...


8. Farscape- I lied. This one IS out. FINALLY. The complete series. Why the hezmana would you release a series 2 or 4 episodes at a time? That's just farbotzd. Oh, and BOOM Studios makes a really world-class comic book based on this. Like the man said, it's sex and drugs and muppets in space. What's not to love? Zitch, that's what.

7. Doctor Who 'The Happiness Patrol'- Under that link is an image of a killer cyborg made of candy from a corrupt civilization where being miserable is a terminal offence. Kandy Man scared the dickens out of me in the '80s. Is he still scary? Well, thanks to YouTube I know how much I still want to own this one on DVD. A lot.

6. Rockula- My friends really deserve this, don't they? C'mon, Universe. Surely my whining will help somehow...

5. Space Precinct- The Brits really know their stuff. Thanks to Ron I saw one of these for the first time in 13 years. It's a precinct... in space. And, no offence to CSI but that's EXACTLY my cup of tea. Why have a boring old police procedural if you can have the Thunderbirds guy giving you flying cars and three-eyed psychics versus squishy green mobsters? I don't think I even need to dignify that rhetorical question with a response.

4. Reboot- Where TRON left off, the first and best CG adventure cartoon of the nineties began. So, Canada rocks and all, which goes without saying, but why isn't it on DVD...it is? But... just one episode at a time? Not season by season? That sounds like an impossibly expensive and time-consuming way to have to track down a series... I guess I MEANT to say:
4. Deadly Games- Was there some sort of curse on 1995? Why all these short-lived-but-awesome genre shows that never made it to my digital media player? I not only want Gus Lloyd's antimatter escapees from a video game in my hot little hands, but an actual revival of this series. You just know after the V-make tanks they'll have to start on the 1990s.

3. ALF the Animated Series- My old flame from the eighties, the mirthful, matted, Melmacian got his just desserts 3 years ago when they put out NINE of his 26 cartoon episodes. Just the first nine! Grrr. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll take 'em. I bought 'em. WHERE'S THE REST?

2. Droids the Animated Series- I loved this show. Recent YouTube viewing convinced me I still do. And if no one corrects Wikipedia, I will. This series was NOT aka BUTTS! Geez! That really grinds my crankcase, Artoo.

1. Earth Star Voyager- When I was 12 the world was rad. I guess my wife would agree that nowadays I would call it splendid. But my uncle and cousin, thanks to my multiple repeat viewings of this VHS tape at their place know that 1988 was Disneyriffic. Only available in the UK, I guess, or so amazon might have me believe. It certainly deserved better. It deserved to be a series. It probably cost somebody a jillion dollars and their jobs and minds. But the 'usual bureaucratic boondoggles' resulted in a gritty (for Disney) improvement on 'The Black Hole' and a darn sight better flick than 'The Black Cauldron', too. I STILL want to know if 'the good ship kindergarten' evaded the cyborg slaves of the Outlaw Technology Zone and made their generation-long round trip to find those pollution-bedeviled Earthlings a new home on Demeter. We better hope they did. It didn't work out for those poor saps on 'Earth 2' or 'Virtuality' either.
Celebrate Green Week by recycling sci-fi plots and use the tailings to make me my DVDs!

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