Saturday, September 3, 2011

Star Wars is Brilliant so Shut Your Noise Holes

Ewoks? Love 'em.
Jar Jar Binks? Love him.
Jabba the Hutt digitally inserted into 'A New Hope'? Love.
Jedi Rocks? I agree. If loving fuzzy Yuzzem singer Joh Yowsa's basso wails is wrong, I don't EVER want to be right.

I get it, Internet. The prequels stink of bantha poodoo, the originals (maybe only Empire, even) are golden manna showers from heaven, Lucas USED to be a genius, now he's a troll, how dare he...

Suffice it to say, I don't think you're drinking enough rageohol.

Now I read that the upcoming Star Wars Blu-Ray release is going to have MORE of this. More Biggs. More Sandstorm. More missing scenes. More aliens. More womp-rats. More changes!!!

And I gotta ask: what kind of Star Wars fans hate MORE Star Wars?

Making Wicket blink? Adorable. CG Yoda in 'Menace' instead of the so-so puppet? Palpable improvement. FORTY DAMN HOURS of special features? Including spoofs? What is not to like about this, folks?

Likening the tiny tweaks George makes in EVERY re-release to disasters, rapes, and tragedies galore with accompanying wailing and tooth gnashing seems a bizarre, overwrought reaction.

He's not taking a dump on his "masterpiece". He's adding fun to his awesome space flicks for kids- to make more money. If you don't like it, JUST DON'T BUY IT THIS TIME.

My favourite image in all this is from tweeter Phil Smith which said: "A few years ago George Lucas made and ate a sandwich. To this day he's still throwing pepper and mayonnaise down his throat to 'improve' it."

Granted. But I sincerely ADMIRE these little touches. Or touch-ups. The films (his films, by-the-by, not yours) are among the first to become like living organisms, manifesting something surprising every time they appear. If they come to the big screen again, I'd go. In a heartbeat. Or a Blargg's belch, if you prefer. And you don't.

Instead of wailing 'Nooooo!' just stick with the dusty old version that was your favourite, then pull your Boba Fett helmet over your head and bang on the sides until the new stuff goes away.

Or embrace change for a change.

Speaking of change, have you got any?
I might want a blu-ray player eventually...

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