Thursday, July 9, 2009

Have I mentioned I like comics? OH SPOILERS

Wonder Woman 'The Olympian' storyline by Gail Simone, loaned to me by Carlos. Very cool. That Genocide creature is one creepy thing. I like Tom Tresser, feeling bad for the poor guy now. Wonder Woman herself is quite likable, little more violent than I prefer, beheading Ares and all. She renounces (and punches) Zeus, but why should that mean she can't be an Amazon? She still values Athena, I assume, and the other goddesses (plus Mercury) who empowered her. Zeus wasn't the only god in the sea, and to be frank, he's ALWAYS been a jerk. Worshiping a pantheon means never having to be an atheist. This choice only makes sense if Diana is a monotheist. Like, if Jesus was being a big jerk, and the Pope socked him on the jaw, maybe the pope might decide to stand down. If hating Zeus meant you couldn't be an Amazon, there wouldn't be that many gals on Themyscira, right? Anyway, story's not over, drama's gotta be had, and I do really like Gail Simone's writing.
Green Lantern Corps by Peter Tomasi. I do so love Kyle and Guy as partners. And, surprisingly, Arisia & Sodam, too. I'm shuddering as the Guardians of the Universe grow more zealously unemotional! Sodam's sacrifice to save Daxam from Yellow Lanterns was tres cool. Very noble death. Too bad for a universe that thought having only ONE planet of insular Kryptonian-style xenophobes was one too many. Daxam & New Krypton- united in being unstoppable rage-fueled jerkwads! Cry 'Leibensraum!' next and let slip the flying, cape-wearing dogs of war! By which I mean Krypto. I think. Loved Guy's smart remarks about Blue Lanterns, Kyle and Soranik doin' it on the sly, and holy crap, Kryb's 'nursery'? Creepy as all hell. Geez, is that a real place? Hadn't some GL or Star Sapphire best go help those babies before they starve? Or hasn't Kryb told anyone where they are? Yurggh. I shudder. And... Sinestro claims to be Soranik's biological father. So the drama, she's fretting about it, of course, who wouldn't, but I'm thinking: can't she ask her parents if it's true? Or, as doctor with Green Lantern powers, why doesn't she do a DNA test? Why take his word as gospel and start fretting without any substantiation? For that matter, Sinestro says he tatooed her face years ago to prove the linkage. I guess she never gave a thought to how she woke up one day with a cheek tatoo, either? She just looked in the mirror, said 'huh. Cool.' and went back to taking her Korugarian SATs? She never tried to remove it before? I'm just being nit-picky here. As my friend Ron asserted, they're alien. I can't apply my attitudes to them without knowing their culture. Maybe they have taboos against DNA tests and maybe triangles sometimes appear on cheeks overnight. It's SCI-FI, baby! Anything can happen and in fact, that's the way I likes it! GL comics are constant excitement these days. All those freaky black rings pouring out of space toward Earth? Yeesgh! Maybe Alex Nero's long overdue but brutal execution will be a moot point real soon.
DANGER UNLIMITED by John Byrne- I read this collection of his very intriguing but short lived FF-style murder-mystery/time-travel/alien occupation/origin story, coupled with his sexy comedic 'Babe' stories, also cut down aborning. Dear Mr. Byrne- please revive them! Let me see those Xelerii jerks sent packin! Mistaken identities and lovely giant ladies with costume malfunctions are timeless, and let's face it, dear to my heart. Who's with me?
DARK REIGN by Bendis et al. It's suitably creepy. My minor beefs are with Mockingbird who is upbeat, rarin' to go, 'lemme-at-em-coach' in New Avengers and 'dire-cold-tortured-bitch-with guns' in Avengers Reunion. I guess they're happening at different times, but I must say I prefer the former. In a world where the strongest Avengers are the asshole killers we should have gals who can weather alien abduction and all the worst, but still be eager and optimistic. I admit, it might be unrealistic, I sure wouldn't be turning cartwheels in her place. But, to hell with realistic. She should be grateful to be on Earth, alive, and not a zombie or a Black Lantern. Yeurrgh.
The other beef is Brother Voodoo, Sorceror Supreme. Hmm. O.K. So Bendis made Power Man cool, he can do it for Brother Voodoo, I've no doubt. But... well, I'd rather have Steven Strange back. Not a racist thing.. I'd just rather have a relatively sane well-trained guy holding reality together. Not a dude who argues with his dead brother. Why would the Ancient One bring in a rookie when all hell is breaking loose? Jennifer Hale survived Marvel Zombies 3 ( I think). And Clea's still alive, right? Even Wiccan might be better... hmm, all whitey. No, I maintain that sanity is my standard here, not color. If the Ancient One wanted to pick a kook, I'll bet Wanda's still kicking around Transia or Genosha bein' all wonky. I guess we'll learn to like a chicken-feet wearing guy named Drumm. Or he'll die all pointless and horrible like Bill Foster. Only Your Bendis knows for sure.
AGENTS OF ATLAS-by Jeff Parker. These are brilliant stories with super art. Just really look forward to them and I have to gush. Freaky monster-men with good hearts slaying the beast from the inside. I just doff my hat to them. And to my buds Devin & Kim: I'm o.k. with Namor doing the nasty with Namora- they are not related! They never have been! Cousin by adoption as an adult is not blood relation or even raised together. Plus they're both mutants- if they had a kid it could probably have wings on every joint of its body! Assuming that was a good thing... probably not. Never mind.
MARVEL ADVENTURES (or anything else) by Paul Tobin- I like this guy! Those Iron Man, Spidey, Hulk team-ups are hi-larious! These need to be remembered. If only for Kang showing up to get revenge on the loveable trio before they've even met him- and shouting about how they destroyed his potato chip factory! And there's Hulk perpetually crunching chips in the background. Or before that, those Stone Men from Saturn-offshoot rock aliens who love extreme sports and force Tony Stark to do Kree karaoke. I laughed out loud. Kudos and great praise be heaped upon thee, Paul Tobin.

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