Movie Review: Project Moonbase on DVD (MST3K Experiment #109)

Where does the time go? Consider: as I finish out my 37th year on this wacky globe, it seems all too brief a span, yet 37 years was long enough to turn a cutting edge science fiction film of 1953 into the Mystery Science Theater 3000 mockery fodder of 1990. I'm speaking, of course, of Project Moonbase.

I watched several DVDs this weekend while my wife was on holiday before starting her new job. This was one of them! Yes, dear followers, in the distant future year of 1970, women have jobs too! Yet as America's brave men reach out for the moon, so do they also reach out to spank any gals who might imagine themselves beyond their station! Space station, that is!

Outer Space is treacherous, unknown territory, so everyone should don Head Condoms and summer shorts for protection. Please, no walking on the walls. In case of Foreign Spies, be advised that they may be spotted by their ignorance of rudimentary baseball trivia and feeble combat skills.

And when it comes to ladies, they may be colonels in the space force, pilot risky and expensive vehicles, and even be addressed as 'Madame President'- but woe betide us all if they should carry higher rank, engage in sex without marriage, or dare to bravely dream beyond their limits.

The screenplay is partly credited to Robert A. Heinlein, so I partly know who to blame for the lecturing and condescension. And the sense of adventure! This is hilariously outdated but it's still fun on a bun. Not least from the quips of Joel & the Bots.

It was a mildly interesting confluence of events in that I am reading all of Heinlein's novels (3 and a half to go!) and watching DVDs hoping to reduce my collection in my regularly scheduled bookstore trading event with my pal Bookmonkey. Perhaps a form of recycling... in that you can have my copy of this movie if Wee Book Inn chooses to take it off my hands.

Even if they don't, it's good news for everyone- America hasn't got a woman president or a base on the moon but we've all learned so much about... uh... I forget where I was going with this. Gender Equality? Science? Anyway, good news for me- my wife has a job again.

R.I.P. Michael Clarke Duncan

Damn.

I'm really going to miss him.

You'll have your favourite performances from Mr. Michael Clarke Duncan. Me?
I thought he was awesome as the Kingpin. AND as Green Lantern Kilowog. He was the bright spot of plenty of popular, GOOD movies also.

I always enjoyed hearing his booming voice: whether in Kim Possible, Teen Titans, or Spider-Man: The New Animated Series. Probably you'll know him from 'The Green Mile', rather than as Starkweather Two Delta in 'The Island'.

But despite who I am, namely a Sci-Fi otaku with a thing for comics and cartoons, it was for a non-genre t.v. program that I admired him most:

His role as Leo Knox on 'The Finder' was my favourite. He played the rational sidekick or more correctly handler of the quirky lead character. He was wise and kind and powerful. Like a Big Black Florida Gandalf.  It was a brilliant show that ended too quickly. And I'm so sorry we lost the man so early, too. Michael Clarke Duncan was more than a figurative giant and our fantasies are going to be less safe without our biggest bodyguard.

In The Mood For Something Good

The title of the post is a play on the title of the Foghat album "In The Mood For Something Crude".

I felt it was appropriate; as the guys who sang 'Slow Ride' are the favourite group of Dan Stark, fallen star of 'The Good Guys'.  Played with great cheesy gusto (and a great cheesy mustache) by the inimitable Bradley Whitford, Dan is a formerly excellent Dallas street cop who has intentionally never upgraded beyond the 1980's.  Eschewing the technology and techniques of the present, Dan avoids demon CSI computers and 'smartyphones', navigating solely on guts, damnit!

His partner Jack (Colin Hanks), of course, is better with procedures and social niceties, but his snarky attitude caused the lieutenant (Diana Maria Riva as Ana Ruiz) to pair him up with her other headache and assign this dastardly duo the crimes of lowest importance.  Jack hopes to make good with her, and more importantly with his lawyer ex-girlfriend (Jenny Wade as Liz Traynor).

Add an informant with a heart of gold he's gladly sell you and buckets of other eccentric crooks.

You've got yourself 'The Good Guys', or as Colin Hanks wanted to call it: 'Opposite Buddy Cop Show'.  

You've also won ME over completely, and I feel like that's saying a lot coming from the guy who's barely interested if one of the cops isn't Tenctonese or both of them aren't stationed in Demeter City on the planet Altor.  But, what it lacks in overt elements of the fantastic, it makes up for in clever, inventive silliness, great action scenes and plenty of heart.  I dare you to watch this and not enjoy the leads and their respective ladies.

Hanks may be the funniest uptight straight man since Aykroyd's Joe Friday.  

And Whitford can do no wrong as far as I know. He wins me over like Dan Stark wins the hearts of the ladies.  Oh, yeah.  At least in his own mind.  OH. YEAH.

Plus the upcoming bonus appearance of Gary Cole as Dan's often-cited old partner Frank Savage will be worth the watch, I assure you.

It's seven months old and airs on Fox, which means it has somehow dodged cancellation 47 billion times. MAYBE BECAUSE IT IS NOT TAKING ITSELF TOO SERIOUSLY.  It's not another dime-a-dozen crime drama, it's a crime comedy for a culture that forgets to laugh at itself.

I strongly encourage you to pull over, leap across the hood of your vehicle with great abandon, then watch this show while firing a pretend gun wildly into the air.

Time to Ditch Chuck

Or was that chuck Ditch? Nope, there's no TV show called Ditch. Maybe next year.

What am I jabbering about, you ask? This time last year I was looking forward to season 3 of Chuck, a clever little spy-show parody with an attractive and amusing cast.

And at the time, that seemed reasonable.

Yeah, I'm done with that now.

Instead of an untrained, inept but loveable not-a-spy who has no chance with the spy-girl, we have a trained, deadly but difficult to like spy who has, in fact, already GOT the spy-girl. And his wacky secret identity boring life is no more, so mad dog spy Casey has to get a real job cause Chuck has the mad dog spy job. Right? There's not much comedy or drama, and no romantic tension or clever parody left. It's just a so-so spy show these days. I'm not even sure the incomparable Scott Bakula can peak my interest any longer. I'm sad to admit it.

But it got a fourth season!

Better Off Ted? Cancelled.

V? Renewed.

Pushing Daisies? Cancelled.

Chuck? Renewed.

Dogs and Cats? Living together.

Am I complaining too much? Good!

Read a book!

My Favorite Live-Action TV of the Noughties

Hope you all had delightful Christmases and will have a New Year of wondrous splendor! Speaking of which, here's what was the best in television in the last decade. Not just my considered opinion, but the god's honest truth. Beg to differ? Blow me. Metaphorically, of course. Then, go write your own blog.

The Top 8 TV Shows that weren't cartoons in 2000-2009
(Why eight? That's how many fingers I have left with two thumbs up!)

8. Star Trek: Enterprise- Because it tried so hard. Because I love the cast if not always the writing. Because it was Star Trek, damn it. You don't stop loving a thing just because it's old and busted.

7. Better Off Ted- You can love the brand new better, though, because hell, you can't top a good laugh. Make mine Octochicken.

6. House- There are actually TWO NON-GENRE things on this list. Could I actually be... (gasp!)
I'm... growing? Opening my mind to new ideas? Seeing the world in an other-than-sci-fi light?
The answer is no. My cerebellum is hopelessly calcified in favor of its chosen genre and there's nothing you can do about it. Again, if you want stuff like that go write your own blog, cretins. But seriously, this is a hell of a good doctor show.

5. How I Met Your Mother- Did I say two? I must have meant two comedies and doctor show, bee-yotches! Looks like I win the slap bet!

4. The Big Bang Theory- Actually, I'm starting to scare myself, now. You'd think comedy was my only criteria for this list! Doesn't Mike like sci-fi AT ALL anymore? Well, obviously and logically I still do. But, I just can't stop laughing when I think of Cylon toast. BSG itself didn't bring any joy to my life or make me laugh since... well,.. ever.

3. Firefly- Fun, adventure, AND sci-fi? Better cancel this one before audiences start to think TV could be more than a flavorless mudder's milk of mind-numbing tedium.

2. The Tick- And cancel this one too! Geezus! You people just hate Ben Edlund, don't you? Arrgh! O.K. it was the purest madness to assume you could make a sitcom this specialized and expensive. But sometimes madness is the sanest choice of all! Remember, there is no magic hubcap. The magic was within YOU all along.

1. Doctor Who- It has everything. I liked the classic series but I love this one. I want to marry this series and have ten miniseries with it. It was fantastic.

Did I forget your favorite? TOO BAD!! Tell me why I suck!