Movie Review: Star Wars Saga on Blu-Ray

O.K., fine, so I haven't exactly watched ALL of it yet. There's like a solid WEEK of features, if I watched it from the bathroom and watched Star Wars instead of sleeping! Which I am no longer willing to do.

Like that crazy old wizard out beyond the Dune Sea, I'm getting too old for this sort of thing.

But what can I possibly say that anyone who knows me won't expect? Episodes 6, 4, and 5 are my top three favourite movies OF ALL TIME. Episodes 3,2, and 1 are inching lower with every revision I make to my TOP 100 List, but I should point out that they are still in my top THIRTY. Take that, Hitchcock's Vertigo! (Not under consideration)

So what would surprise you? Because this blog has been lying nearly fallow all year, I should mention that I bought a BLU-RAY player, after avoiding it as utterly unnecessary for quite some time. And it still is. But it's SOOO SHINY!!!

Sooo... I bought the Star Wars movies. Used. $72. Then, over the last few weeks, I watched them. They are wonderful. Worth every damn nickel.

The first thing I checked out was the Nelvana Cartoon with the first appearance of Boba Fett. Go, Canada! Dripping with nostalgia, I can tell you it is a rare delight. Since I'm not a child anymore, I can't bounce off the walls with glee. Except in my heart!

Then I watched the deleted scenes: Biggs and the Anchorhead Chums, Wampas Amok, and the much-too-unfinished and now unfunctional Sandstorm Farewell scene. Wizard!

Also a 2.5 hour scene called 'The Phantom Menace' which I hear everyone on the Internet wants deleted. Me? I'm fine with it. Episode One Yoda looks much better in CGI. But is it too late to colour over Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christiansen?

I couldn't spot any tweaks at all in 'Attack of the Clones' or 'Revenge of the Sith'. But they are better than ANY TEN OTHER FILMS!!! Well, maybe not ANY. But most.

There is no reason at all to change the sound Kenobi makes to scare off Sand People, but George did. Maybe it's the sound his tummy makes when he's full of cheese bought with his billions?

Greedo and Han shoot nearly simultaneously, but Han's split-second flinch looks a little less dodgy, pardon the pun. The albino dianoga is keen. 'Empire''s AT-AT's  and 'Jedi''s rancor are exactly as they should be, classic stop-motion but with black matte-lines removed. Freakin' sweet, is the term, I believe?

I still love the 'Return of the Jedi' Special Edition, Joh Yowza, 'Weesa FREE!', and all. Only now Wicket and the Ewoks blink. It's simultaneously adorable and unsettling. In other words, PERFECT.

There's still lots to enjoy and explore. I'll get my money's worth in the years to come. Thanks to Carlos for loaning me his copy for the nonce, and (paying it forward), you're all welcome to borrow mine. When you pry it from my cold, dead, Jawa hands!

My Favourite Characters: A Perfectly Good White Boy

If you've never willingly seen (or been forced to watch by me) 1985's absurdist teen romance/skiing/angst film 'Better Off Dead', then you've missed out. I mean it. I really mean it. You can get it on Blu-Ray now or watch my ordinary DVD at my place, because it's, well,...

This movie blew my face off just like Ricky's horrible mother.

It is a long term personal favourite movie of mine, and if it touches you the way it touches me, then I'm deeply, deeply sorry, for we are the same person and I gotta say... I've never really liked myself all that much.

When I tell you that in 2010 I apparently ranked it my 99th favourite film out of 100 favourites, it's important to remember that I've seen THOUSANDS of films, and a favourite is still a favourite...

No matter how awkward, no matter how mawkish, I identified VERY strongly with this weird little movie and it will cheer me out of most doldrums to this very day. It's got a killer eighties soundtrack mostly by Rupert Hine. It's got a solid, eccentric cast, with a lead that I love very much: John Cusack as Lane Meyer. As written by 'Savage' Steve Holland, who I am also required to love very much. (Even though this movie ruined whatever friendship they had, I guess. (At least, that's what this neat interview Bookmonkey sent me says.)

Lane is the saddest sack in Greendale; for Beth, the girl on whom he has pinned all his hopes (and her face on all his hangers), has dumped him. And if he weren't such an abject failure in every aspect of his life including suicide, he'd have no reason to go on living.

When the universe throws unhinged paper boy armies, sneering jocks, and every possible form of work, school and family banality your way, look to Lane. There are inspirations everywhere, second chances (they might be named Monique), and outlets in your art whether drawing, music, or being a terrible skiier.

Lane's best and perhaps only friend, the not-even-cool-enough-to-be-a-real-drug-addict Charles De Mar offers advice to help Lane (and perhaps you and I) ski the K-12 that is life:

"Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way... turn."