Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy

I've been looking forward to the Guardians of the Galaxy movie all year. and yesterday I found nothing to disappoint! High praise, really, whenever I get my hopes up about such events they tend to collapse pretty easily. (I'm looking at you, Disney's John Carter. Not literally looking at you, that would require watching you again.)

The characters are splendid. Our villains are creeps of the first order, our heroes are a fun bunch of ne'er-do-wells, who deep, deep, DEEP down, would rather be Er-Do-Wells. Excellent renderings & voices of the horrible/adorable Groot and Rocket (first seen in broad Xandarian triple-daylight) make it very easy to buy into their brand of hyper-reality. Drax, Gamora, and Star-Lord are awesome, just totally spot-on. This is very much the sort of all-outer-space all-the-time action I was wishing for with the live-action Green Lantern movie. (I don't want every comment I make to be bashing something else, but GOTG has quickly become one of my hundred favourites. Sorry, Speed Racer, my former #100, you're probably back on the second-stringers list...)

The sense of humour, way-groovy soundtrack, and whiz-bang big-badda-booms make for an utterly ideal summer flick to enjoy with friends. A cynical heart in just the right place. Maybe you should see it twice before you buy the Blu-Ray! Just sayin'.

I'd like to think the takeaway here is twofold: "Nobody is 100% a dick." and "Life's giving us a chance to give a shit."

Thorsday 2011

(Thorsday Night Fever by john taylor christopher of deviantart.)

All right, I'll admit it. I'm not the biggest Thor booster. I did read the Stan, Larry & Jack stuff from the sixties as reprints, and some modern stuff, too. But mostly I know Thor from the Avengers and other guest appearances where his biggest problem is: he's a god.

He doesn't fit in. He's too powerful. How do you have a compelling story if the god of lightning with the all-powerful magic hammer can saunter in and solve all your problems at once? With a hammer, I might add.

Well, surprise! Thor is a good flick.

My wife, generally, enjoys action and shirtless guys.

Chris Hemsworth fits the bill. Oh, my!

I, myself, enjoy an apparatus that hurtles one across space to distant worlds and robots with death ray faces. To each his/her own.

Good story, top-notch performances, and a writing credit for my idol J. Michael Straczynski. Go see it if ya got the time. 3D is all very well, but not essential. In fact, as my buddy Wayne said: why not charge the same or LESS if you're putting that crap on everything? (I'm paraphrasing.) Also, stay to the end of the credits. It's a MARVEL movie, True Believers!

When Good Adaptations Happen

It must happen sometimes, right?! Bookmonkey had a cool post today praising three fine films that did justice to their source material. I racked my brains for three more in my sci-fi baliwick. You know, it was not that easy? Either my standards are too high or this is a very tall order. I guess what a book or comic can achieve inside the reader's imagination will always remain beyond the limits of film. But they can get close!
My buddy Ron says L.A. Confidential is tops as an adaptation.
I have my suspicions that 'Enemy Mine' is a good one, but I've yet to read Barry Longyear's original story. Likewise, I can't be sure about 'Bicentennial Man', but I sure liked that.
'Millenium' is great but the budget required to really do justice to John Varley's novel with the Titanic's rusting hulk, Roman legions, mid-air collisions, cyborgs and a vast time machine just wasn't there. Nobody's fault really. Gotta try again someday. So I choose...

3. DUNE- the David Lynch one, weird as it is, is still pretty good. The John Harrison epic version comes closer in terms of scope and detail, but damned if I didn't wish Lynch's cast had starred in it. Maybe some technical genius can make that happen for me someday, smushing the two together in a computer somehow and enhancing them both. A miniseries is probably the MINIMUM requirement to do justice to most books, and certainly to Dune.

2. WATCHMEN- I can name a guy who disagrees, and if the author isn't on your side, well... that hurts my case. A lot. Alan Moore went on record that he'd never go to see it. Seems like a shame, 'cause it was pretty much what I saw in the comic brought to life. No pirate comic, no squid, but otherwise... pretty frickin' sweet.

1. STARSHIP TROOPERS- I wonder if the ones I like are the ones the authors wouldn't? He's not around to ask, but I have a sneaking suspicion Heinlein might not have approved, either. But, then again, I know he liked nudity! And since Heinlein's Dizzy was male, I prefer Verhoven's version of her. For that matter, I prefered Verhoven's cynical view of war, soldiering, and patriotism to Heinlein's entirely sincere take on those subjects... as a lover, not a fighter I'm pretty glad I have the right to vote even though I'm not willing to kill to defend abstractions like my 'rights'. Contrariwise, I'm willing to kill bugs... because the only good bug is a dead bug.

80, yes, EIGHTY Comics-Made-Into-Movies ranked

Yup, I literally have done this thing. Ranking comics made into movies-- is this effective use of my time? And is Rank an all-too-appropriate word? You decide.

From best to worst in my awe-inspiring opinion:
Spider-Man 2- this is a GREAT Spidey film
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer- now make a GREAT Fantastic Four movie
Iron Man- just like the She-Hulk, I might have to sleep with Tony Stark
Superman II- Kneel before Richard Donner
Men In Black- watch it again, Slick, it's about the best movie on the planet
Howard the Duck- for some reason, I'm REALLY not kidding you
Hellboy- I may actually want Abe Sapien's fishy babies. Sorry, Tony
Superman- you'll believe a movie can rock
Spider-Man 3- Venom, Sandman, Gwen Stacey- too many villains!
Ranma 1/2 Big Trouble In Nekonron, China- I've never needed understanding to love things
Spider-Man- except that dorky Goblin costume
X-Men The Last Stand- Magnetic Gandalf and Blue Frasier- splendid
Incredible Hulk- I'm buttering Marvel up for a She-Hulk spin-off
Judge Dredd- I'm still not kidding. HULLO, Cursed Earth pizza?
Daredevil- Kevin Smith, Stan the Man, Bennifer, yessir I like it
The Dark Knight- I like a BATMAN movie better than...
Fantastic Four- and they're my favorites!
X2- ze incredible Nightcrawler!
Batman Begins- Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, that Scarecrow guy. Cool.
X-Men- Alberta is the cagefighting province!
Tank Girl- I'm not proud, people.
V For Vendetta- hip
The Rocketeer- yup
Batman Forever- I like Tommy Lee and Jim. I really do.
Monkeybone- I also like monkeys
Mystery Men- it's not the Tick, but it's good Garofolo and friends
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- I was a turtle ninja for Halloween. I may have some problems.
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm- this cartoon was brilliant
From Hell- this is not my thing at all, which shows how good it is
Batman- this was pretty cool, cartoon was better
The Mask- never saw the sequel with ze incredible Nightcrawler!
Blade Trinity- Ryan Reynolds should be in every movie ever
Supergirl- I wasn't always proud of liking this, but having seen Superman Returns...
Heavy Metal 2000- F.A.K.K.2 appears not to stand for anything. Boobies, maybe?
Timecop- he totally changed time!
Ghost Rider- Nick Cage: make the SHE-HULK movie. Fulfill your VOW!
Hulk- strange actionless choices, but better than you think
Blade- this was way cool
Superman III- this was needless, but I laughed
Men In Black II-this was MORE needless, but I laughed
Elektra- Zod is in this, but is it good?
Constantine- Canoe is not Constantine. Admit it.
Barbarella- I'll admit it: I've seen this 5 times
Superman IV- I'll admit it, I've seen this a lot more than 5 times
Heavy Metal- oh, cartoon boobs
Josie & the Pussycats- yes, but it's better than the source material
The Phantom- You wish YOU looked like a penis in a domino mask
Punisher (Thomas Jayne)- Mystique is NOT Mousey Joan, that's rubbish
Dick Tracy- o.k. it's bad, but now I've seen the Spirit
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time- if only I was kidding
Over The Hedge- but I LIKE a cookie...
City Hunter- Jackie Chan rules, that's all I remember
Sheena- too gratuitous
Red Sonja- not gratuitous enough
Batman The Movie- shark repellant is better than Kryptonian dead-beat dad
A Charlie Brown Christmas- is it too schmaltzy? watch those kids dance- be heartwarmed
American Splendor (this is the mid-point, evoking neither positive nor negative emotion)
Batman Returns- Christoher Walken notwithstanding
Annie- arrgh
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (the secret is Vanilla Ice)
The Crow II: City of Angels- don't know if it's good, but Kirk & Kayla fell in love
Blade II- Danny John Jules notwithstanding
Batman & Robin- Ahhnold notwithstanding
Superman Returns- only Spacey & Posey got this thing above Garfield
Garfield- how did this go wrong?
Captain America (1991)- Red Skull is not Italian. Sweet Christmas!
Sin City- ehh
The Shadow- blehh
The Crow- shmehh
Road To Perdition- there's nothing wrong with this. I'm mental.
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen- bleckk
Captain America II: Death Too Soon- no, not too soon at all
Ghost World- oh, come on, it's sooooo tedious
The Guyver- Mark Hamill was the Joker in cartoons. He's good in them. Don't watch this.
Spawn- lord, beer me strength
The Spirit- oh lordyloo
Archie: To Riverdale & Back Again- wrong, wrong, wrong
Dennis the Menace- is better than...
300- 300 is how gay it is on a scale of 1 to 10
Barb Wire- this may actually be the worst movie of ANY kind

Up next: Comics into T.V. and Direct-To-Video and stuff I couldn't bring myself to watch